Slow Food Fast

Yeah, yeah, I know. Last month every newspaper and online health magazine was brimming with handy top-10 tips to avoid stuffing yourself into a coma when you got over the river and through the woods to your in-laws’. Did it work? Did you try any of them? Was it even possible with the food available? MMMmmmph.

And…now we’ve started on the next round of holiday parties. And yes, I’m well aware, after last week’s “let the fools have their tartar sauce” tax subversion bill, that the tenor of my questions could equally apply to trickle-down economics, neocon “efficient” remote war management in Iraq and Afghanistan, “I am not a crook,” “too big to fail,” “No Collusion,” “FAKE NEWS,” and other fantasy favorites.

I don’t want to add to the burden of public speculation on the kinds of people who could genuinely fall for those slogans or excuse them in the face of the visible harm they do to all of us (okay, MOST of us. 99.9 percent of us). I’ve met some of these true believers, a few are actually friends, and they are otherwise decent, but really, stubbornly naïve is the kindest thing I can say. Tunnel vision, perhaps.

But back to holiday food–an even more fraught social topic. Because the same stubborn naïveté applies.

The trouble with most of the dutifully published top-10s for navigating party fare is how incredibly vague and trivial they are. They don’t give you a plate plan diagram like the ones for DASH/MyPlate balanced meals and the Idaho Plate™-style recommendations for Type II diabetes management. They don’t help you set a reasonable goal number for carb grams for the total meal including desserts and appetizers, and they don’t help you estimate anything or give you some sample sizes to go by.

Instead, they put the burden on you (or your kid) to select and use the fictitious ideal of self-control (more accurately known as “winging it”) in an environment that, to put it mildly, probably won’t support it. Oh, dear. JUST like the tax boondoggle.

There is also a big, big missing ingredient for most of these party suggestions: vegetables of worth. People don’t cook as much as they used to, chain restaurants and drive-thrus don’t really serve them, and the big food mags have almost dropped them from any party spread that isn’t for summer.

If there aren’t greens on the table, how do you fill half your plate with them as recommended by doctors and CDEs and RDs everywhere? If there’s one green vegetable dish and it’s breaded, panko’ed, crusted, dressed, nutted, topped, creamed or cream sauced, gratinéed, gravied, stuffed, sweetened, pancetta’ed, buttered or cheesed (I know, some of that litany is starting to sound a little obscene, as it should) to within an inch of its life, is it still worthwhile counting it as a green? Or is it actually mostly yet another starch with cheese, cream, butter, breadcrumbs, bacon bits and so on?

If you need to cover up any dish that thoroughly, it should tell you something pretty important about the recipe:

It is not exactly a taste explosion.*

Sorry, I WAS trying to get away from the obvious political metaphor, but it looks like it’s going to stick. (*And my thanks to the much-mourned Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series–and more specifically another of his books, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, for that line).

In any case, to survive the holidays and look good doing it, you need a winter holiday table that works better and tastes fresher and is actually lighter than the usual stuff and won’t leave you wishing for a sleigh to schlep your stomach home in after the party.

You need vegetabalia, ungunked. Some actual greens (or purples) on the table to lighten the load and redress the balance.

Actually, vegetabalia has always been a key part of classic dinner parties and it would be a shame to forget it, especially when you’re in the heart of winter. I don’t think I actually have ten ideas here, because as you may have seen in my previous attempts at top-10 lists, I tend to go a little overboard. Let’s see.

One way to do it without too much shock is to make the starch dishes a little smaller and the greens platters a little bigger and more numerous, colored, varied and–this is actually important, at least for a party–pretty.

Another is to add a green salad worthy of a celebration–keep it simple, elegant, just a couple of key and colorful ingredients that go together, not like something you scooped out of your local chain restaurant salad bar. See the big box of salad post for some inexpensive and winter-worthy vegetable selections that are easy to prep and store in the fridge for showtime and won’t look like “rabbit food.”

The third is to provide appetizers that are bigger on vegetabalia, ones that get beyond celery sticks, baby-cut carrots and bottled ranch dressing and are actually appetizing.

…Of course, the key element for avoiding idiots who take one look and say, “Oh. Rabbit food.” is not to invite them in the first place. The second strategy is surprise (in a good way, that is, not as in “celery with marshmallow fluff!”)

Good-looking vegetable appetizers that won’t bore people aren’t necessarily more expensive, especially if you buy bulk vegetables and wash and cut them up yourself. And some can actually be easier to make, and make look impressive, than lining up all those crackers and cheese slices neatly on a circular tray (my bane, I just don’t have the hostess/catering gene). The bonus: if you’re the host, you won’t have a load of crackers and cheese sitting around the house the next day, and you might have some fresh noshing vegetables left over, ready to grab and go.

Here are a couple of more specific (forgotten?) ways to make vegetabalia rock, cold and hot.

Crudités (#4)

The “just wash and nosh” scheme for raw vegetables is pretty easy and can even be elegant for a raw vegetable tray. You don’t need fancy chef-school knife skills or fancy expensive knife sets to make the magic happen, either.

You don’t have to do a massive tray or a zillion different expensive designer raw vegetables–three or four types on a medium platter with some contrast and a good fresh dip make a nice party display. At between $1 and $5-6 (for heirloom, top-end stuff or for portobello mushrooms) per pound, most noshing vegetables are also cheaper than many chips-and-dips junk foods, designer breads, cheeses, sliced deli meats, and premade party platters of just about any kind.

Do get away from the tedious carrots-and-celery-sticks-and-ranch-dressing version, even if you are doing carrots and/or celery. Celery and carrots are still good, mind you, but you might want to grow them up a bit, cut them differently, add one or two less common dipping vegetables for variety and something fresher and more interesting than ranch dressing for a dip or spread.

Usually I’m against “fashion vegetables,” heirloom everything and bagged, prewashed/pretrimmed veg because of the price markup compared to bulk. But if you’ve got access to something a little extra in an unexpected color (purple is good, so is bright yellow), like purple cauliflower or multicolored peppers, you might want to go for it just once in limited amounts and mix them up with the regular vegetables.

And there are non-designer vegetables with enough mix of color and flavor to do the pretty at a slightly lower price point.

• Regular globe radishes are pretty bright and crunchy and eye-catching and peppery–lop off the thin root and most of the stem; wash them really well to get out any sand and keep them whole or slice them in half lengthwise. If you have a local farmer’s market that doesn’t slap on chichi markups in the price per pound, or you happen to see a bunch of longer or otherwise eye-catching radishes for about the same price in the produce section of your grocery store, go for it.
• Fancy variety pods like sugar snap peas and snow peas–even raw green beans–are a nice choice too. You can get bulk snap and snow peas for about $3/lb. at the Ralph’s/Kroger’s and fresh green beans are sometimes on sale between Thanksgiving and New Year’s for under $1/lb. but usually about $2/lb.
• Trader Joe’s sells 2-lb. bags of multicolored full-sized organic carrots for about $2 at this writing. White, deep purple with a gold core, bright yellow…pretty dramatic and they mix up nicely with the cheaper orange ones without being a lot more expensive.
• If you can get colored full-sized bell peppers, maybe get one or two, and choose colors other than green. Sliced lengthwise they go pretty far in brightening up a vegetable tray.

Combine one or two of these less common items with carrots and/or celery and you’ve stepped up–often for less than that preassembled supermarket party tray.

Scoops (#5? I’ve already lost count)

This is for when you have something beyond ranch dressing that’s worth a scoop. You should. Go for a thicker, fresher dip or spread than the usual bottled salad dressings. You want to scoop, not drip.

Cut things like celery, cucumbers or zucchini, bell peppers and red cabbage wedges in shapes that will scoop handily–this means longer pieces and wider if possible at the scooping end.

Pick up a tub of plain Greek yogurt (preferably low-to-no-fat) instead of sour cream or mayonnaise, and use it to make a thick onion dip, tehina/yogurt dip, feta or bleu cheese dip, smoked whitefish salad (or fake-smoked tilapia salad) with Greek olive slivers or smoked paprika on top, a not-too-gloppy fine-chopped egg salad with chives or paprika (or chile powder, or curry powder) sprinkled over it, a lightened-up tuna salad with some fresh herbs and a little grated red onion mixed in, a lightened-up spinach and artichoke dip. Or mix the Greek yogurt with pesto. You can buy some of these things ready-made, but the rest don’t take a lot to put together at home. Except for the cooked items like eggs, spinach and fish, they’re basically just add-and-stir. Five minutes max for the more elaborate ones, and probably much less.

Rollups

Romaine is a good standard lettuce–the outer leaves are good for salad and the inner leaves are good for scooping dip (and cheaper than endive).  But you can also get exotic with heads of romaine or leaf lettuce (not iceberg) as wrappers. Raw spinach leaves, Nappa cabbage and the wide green upper part of bok choy leaves would also work–cut the bigger leaves into hand-sized pieces.

Make Thai-style appetizers (#6) by rolling a dab of thick tamarind paste (very microwaveable) or microwaved prune and/or dried apricot spread (unsweetened for this), some roasted chopped peanuts and a bit of chopped fresh mint or basil inside each of the leaves. Thai restaurants serve the fillings in separate little bowls and let customers roll their own. It’s certainly easier than rolling a big batch for them ahead of time, and it’s also kind of fun.

Vietnamese summer rolls (#7): I know, this is probably better in the summer than winter, but you can use either romaine tops or rice flour wrappers to make eggroll-shaped wraps with shredded carrots, cucumbers and lettuce or cabbage, maybe a stick of firm tofu, and some fresh herbs inside -basil, cilantro, mint, a bit of chive or scallion–and a light soy sauce, hoisin or peanut sauce for dipping.

Skewers (#8?)

If you feel fancy and have the time (or the kids, and you need a kid craft activity during prep), get some party skewers and string some cherry tomatoes, cucumber or (raw or grilled) zucchini chunks, an olive or a cheese cube (smoked mozzarella, pepper jack, gouda, Swiss, etc) on them. Lay them out on a platter or find a decent nonslip base you can stick them into upright–a block of (cheap) cheese, half a large apple or the like.  Just don’t poke them into something very tough like a raw half-head of cabbage, as a caterer friend did recently; they were really hard to pull back out, which was kind of a shame.

Hot appetizers

On the hot side, if you have a microwave oven you can do greens, mushrooms, and big vegetables very fast and very nicely without a lot of time, effort, crowding the counterspace and oven, overcooking them or (in the case of cabbage) smelling up the house. And you can prep them ahead (rinse, trim and/or cut up as needed, stick them in a snaplock container in the fridge to pop into the microwave at the last minute). If you have a nice and microwave-safe stoneware casserole dish, you could even just arrange things nicely in it, cover and nuke,  and take it straight to the table with or without a sauce.

Grilled mushrooms (#9)

A platter of white or brown button mushroom caps with some chopped savory herbs (sage, thyme) and a little garlic and olive oil drizzled over the top, or just a dab of pesto and some grated parmesan, white cheddar, Swiss or feta. This is easy to microwave on an open platter that can go to the table. Or you can broil them conventionally a few minutes. If you have portobellos instead of smaller caps, just cut them in bitesized wedges before cooking. You can serve these warm or at room temperature with toothpicks or as a finger food. The only trick for eaters is not to dribble the juices down one’s front.

Antipasto

Grilled, roasted or marinated vegetables (#10)-strips or slices of eggplant, zucchini, peppers, onions, fennel if you have it–look and taste impressive and they don’t take huge work. A microwave can parcook most of them to speed up the browning in a skillet or roasting pan. Or of course if you have a griddle (or the kind of weather that favors outdoor grilling), do that.

Some simpler hot or cold cooked veg for dipping (#11) might include blanched green beans, asparagus spears or long split broccoli stalks, microwaved with a drizzle of water in a snaplock container for just 2-3 minutes per pound, long enough to bring out the jewel green, not long enough to go olivey. Cauliflower florets are good too. Either quick-chill and store cold until showtime or do them at the last minute in the microwave and serve them hot. An easy mustard vinaigrette or mustard/yogurt dip turns them into finger foods. Peanut sauce and tehina are also good.

Cooked Salads

The roasted eggplant, pepper and onion salad (#12, but basically the same as grilled veg above, just combined) is not too tough to make with help from a microwave.

Another reasonably easy cooked salad, and maybe more available this time of year at a good price, is a pan-browned “gilded” cauliflower and artichoke heart salad (#13), with or without red bell pepper slices and some onion crescents in a little olive oil, minced or grated garlic, some thyme or oregano, a little red wine vinegar and/or lemon juice and optional hot pepper flakes.  You can microwave the cauliflower pieces on an open plate for 2-3 minutes before frying so that they’re parcooked and will brown a little faster.

This isn’t finger food, but if you’re doing a heavy hors d’oeuvres kind of party, it’s a nice addition and serves well hot or at room temperature (make the night before, drizzle on a little extra oil and vinegar, stick it in the fridge to rest). You could get 6 servings from about half a large head of cauliflower or about 30-40 from two whole heads–use your judgment as to how to handle it, but if you go large, you’d probably do best microwave parcooking in a couple of batches and then ovenroasting in a large pan for half an hour or so, dress with oil and vinegar, transfer to a large snaplock container to cool and then definitely let it sit overnight in the fridge to meld.

Vegetable soup shooters or verrines (#14)

If you have the appetizer/hors d’oeuvre thing going full blast, you can make (and nuke) a batch of cream-of-whatever vegetable soup to serve in small glasses or cups. Use a microwave and a food processor and you can do real, fresh-tasting soups in about 5-10 minutes. Make it colorful and fresh–pumpkin, corn (use frozen corn kernels this time of year, don’t even think of canned), pea (use frozen peas; they’re lighter, greener, sweeter and a lot faster than split peas, unless you really want split pea soup–in which case, use the microwave version for a medium batch of a couple of quarts), mushroom, tomato, spinach… To keep it light, use the vegetable itself as the thickener and don’t choose recipes that take a long time, have a lot of ingredients or steps, or drown vegetables in cream, butter, sour cream and so on–go with milk, lowfat or skim, then flavor it well with actual flavors.

Microwave the veg first as needed in minimal water in a lidded container for a few minutes to soften and/or thaw enough for blending in a food processor (not canned pumpkin or tomato paste, obviously–just whisk or pulse them in a food processor with the other ingredients, then heat). Bring up with water or milk (keep it a reasonably thick purée so it won’t be too runny in the glasses but not too thick to pour or drink), add flavorings: spices and/or herbs, garlic and onion or shallot, a little cheese and/or a small splash of white wine or sherry, process or blend as desired. Then put it in a big snaplock container and heat it in the microwave. Taste and adjust flavors and pour hot or chilled as appropriate into small shot glasses, teacups or the like. If you’re being weird or elegant or you’re a barista with flair, layer two different colored soups into clear glasses or swirl in some pesto or Greek yogurt.

You might be able to do this kind of thing with the vacuum-pack boxes of cream-of-X vegetable soups from the store, but they tend to be very high-sodium with a lot of unnecessary ingredients to read as “savory” and therefore they don’t taste all that fresh. They’re often kind of thin, low on vitamin power, and kind of expensive as well for what they are.

Quiche, flans, frittatas, latkes (#15)

Pumpkin, mushroom, spinach, zucchini–these all make pretty good appetizer flans or quiches when you blend them with eggs, milk, a bit of flour and some cheese and herbs–you can take out some of the yolks and keep the milk lowfat or skim to keep the saturated fat and cholesterol down. Skip the crust if you’ve got some other way to contain them. And keep the vegetables the majority of the mixture, with the egg, flour and milk and so on just as a binder. Bake in a mini muffin or madeleine tin, garnish with crumbled feta or bleu or toasted pecans, and you’re good. Or fry the mixture as you might latkes or croquettes. Cutting a bigger spinach and feta crustless quiche, a larger pan of savory pumpkin or butternut squash flan, or a zucchini or cauliflower frittata into small squares is also good and much less fiddly.

Spanakopita (#16)

Going all-out, you could make a big party tray of spanakopita–it can be dairy with feta or vegan with Greek olives in place of the feta, it’s always delicious, and it always looks like you bothered. Because you did.

—  —  —

One of the best things about most of these ideas is that they’re flexible and can serve either as an appetizer or in larger portions as lunch or light supper dishes. The other is that they make pretty good party leftovers that won’t leave you feeling like you’re wallowing in high-calorie party leftovers the next day or the next week and putting on unlooked-for pounds that make your New Year a little harder to get started right.

Well…so I got to about 16. Not half bad? Kinda long for one post–true enough. Happy holidays, and wear them in good health.

Filed under: appetizers, DASH Diet, Dips, Eating out, holiday cooking, Vegetabalia | Tagged: food, healthy diet, holiday cooking, recipes, vegetarian |